I used to shake my head sadly when I saw ‘Do Not Knock’ notices on people’s front doors. ‘Cranky old so-and-sos,’ I thought. Well—live and learn. I have lately joined the ranks of the cranky-old-so-and-sos and have now also attached one of these notices to my own front door.
Unfortunately, as I discovered this week, my polite little ‘Please Don’t . . . ‘ sign is obviously not bold enough to deter a rabid charity-door-knocker on a mission. I might just have to start looking for something a tad more forceful . . .
I had never been unduly bothered by solicitations by salespeople, bible toters or charity workers until quite recently. I monitor my home phone so I am able to pick up the calls I want and ignore those I don’t and I also put myself on the national ‘Do Not Call Register’, which, although I have no idea whether this is in any way effective at all, at least makes me feel as if I am being somewhat proactive.
I also tend to miss most ‘door-knockers as they usually make their rounds during the day, and at weekends the dogs usually hear anyone coming up the driveway long before I do, giving me plenty of time to prepare a polite response (‘Sorry—can’t talk now—eating.’) or, alternatively, find a place to hide and pretend I am not at home until they decide to move on. (Now, don’t give me that look. I am (almost) certain I could not possibly be the only one who has ever done that . . . )
I realise the competition is fierce. A quick on-line search reveals there are around 54,000 charities and not-for-profits now registered in Australia—each one jostling for our donation dollar. I am sure most of these charities do good work, and every one of them means something to someone or they wouldn’t have been started in the first place, but it makes me ever such a tiny bit irritated (as you might have guessed) that I now feel like I have to put measures in place in order to avoid their constant, increasingly pervasive, solicitations.
Admittedly, my irritation has been somewhat exacerbated by lately being on the receiving end of a couple of quite unpleasant (dare I say, aggressive) phone calls from charities I already regularly supported, and had supported for years—both wanting more, more, more. When I reminded one caller I already gave a monthly stipend he said, “I’ll stop calling if you double your donation”. I kid you not. Needless to say I did not double my donation and, in fact, stopped donating to that charity at all. It’s a shame, but I won’t be bullied. It also makes me wonder how many other loyal donors have been pushed to the point where they ‘no longer care’.
On the bright side there are lots of other ways I can contribute and continue to ‘do my bit’. I just have to start thinking about it differently. I have started to buy extra dog food and treats on my weekly shopping trips and putting them in the donation barrel for a local organisation that fosters and looks after homeless dogs. I regularly donate to local charity stores (and buy from them too) and will continue to do that. And lately I have been thinking that I should take up knitting again. I used to love to knit but haven’t done any now in years. After a quick search I found several sites that accept knitted donations. I can can knit squares for blankets, or beanies, or gloves, or even teeny tiny jackets for little bald parrots . . .
I’ve just had a thought. The next time I am caught by a charity caller I am going to stop them right in their middle of their well-rehearsed (and condescending) speil and hit them up with one of my own . . .
“You know your charity sounds fine, and I’m sure you do good things . . . but why not think about donating to mine? We need yarn—lots and lots of yarn. Just think of the good you would be doing, providing lovely new, warm, colourful clothes for people in need (and pouches for possums and teeny tiny jackets for featherless birds.) Only a dollar a day, that’s all I’m asking . . . and for only as long as you want to donate . . . (and, by the way, that really is a lovely shirt you are wearing, the colour really does suit you) . . . So, if you’d like to hand over your credit card details . . . “
Sally says . . . eat, sleep, work, read, play, draw, bark . . . 
Jon
June 4, 2017 at 6:50 pm
Go Sally. I’m sure you’ll get lots of yarn donations (hopefully of the wool and not verbal kind).
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Pam Talbot
June 3, 2017 at 11:27 am
As we discussed last night (very animatedly) same group that harassed me on Tuesday! I made the mistake of listening to the first 5 mins of verbal diarrhoea & was polite until I asked if she was collecting money, to be told quite scathingly, “no I’m not carrying a bag of money!” Only to be informed a few minutes later that I could donate as little as a dollar a day to the “cause” Grrrrrrhhhhh! That’s when I said goodbye & closed the door & I missed the final “chase” that I had been watching with my (now cold) afternoon coffee! 😡
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sallyinthehaven
June 4, 2017 at 7:53 am
Molly runs a mile when I point the spray-bottle at her. I wonder if it would be considered ‘assault’ if I sprayed water at these people until they too ran away . . .
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Judy
June 2, 2017 at 9:59 am
Yes, do it Sal! I just got interested in knitting again too and saw an ad for a wool/pattern website that firstly, gave you some free patterns, then some good deals on wool…think it was on FB. Did you see it? If not do you want me to forward my info to you? There was a gorgeous wee coat for our fur bubs!!
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sallyinthehaven
June 2, 2017 at 10:12 am
Hi Judy – no haven’t seen that site so if you can send it along that would be great. Don’t know if i would knit for my own girls though, they seem particularly averse to wearing coats (Maudie actually screams at me when I try to put a coat on her – and Mabel runs and hides.) You should see the looks I get out walking in the winter when I am all rugged up and Mabel and Maude are coatless . . .
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Judy
June 2, 2017 at 3:56 pm
The Bear is the same – but at least he has his own built in furry coat!
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stevetalbot51
June 2, 2017 at 9:45 am
Great post Sal 🙂 and a great plan to stop them in mid-spiel !!
As for your new “project” (who knew you had so much spare time?) Pam is just about to start on a beanie/scarf for the grandson, so I can see Friday nights becoming “knitting and red wine and cheese” evenings.
Well, maybe not …….
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sallyinthehaven
June 2, 2017 at 10:09 am
We could get very ‘creative’ couldn’t we?? 🙂
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C. C. Cedras
June 2, 2017 at 8:41 am
I get bombarded…calls, emails, snail-mail. I know very well that private philanthropy is necessary in these cold, hard days, but any solicitor who tried to extort more money as a trade off for less harassment (NOT true, anyway), would have very poor results to show at the end of the day. Bless his (little pea-pickin’) heart.
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sallyinthehaven
June 2, 2017 at 10:15 am
If he had been on my doorstep instead of on the phone I would have sent my Molly out to bite him on the legs!!
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Anonymous
June 2, 2017 at 8:32 am
Holy Schnikey! I’m very sure a few expletives would have been hurled at that caller who attempted to blackmail you into increasing your donation! And I love your new plan!
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sallyinthehaven
June 2, 2017 at 10:07 am
Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell him what I really thought of him because he rang me at the office and I was surrounded by students at the time (probably all part of his evil scheme). What goes around, comes around. Someone will get him good, I have no doubt . . .
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