So—as I am sure you are all excruciatingly aware—the end of this year is upon us and the start of a brand new year is fast approaching. I am not quite sure how that happened again so soon (it feels like I have just gotten over last Christmas and New year) but nevertheless here it is and so it seems like a fitting time for a little self-reflection. (You have my permission to run screaming from the building . . . )
When I started this blog in 2015, I admit, it was on a bit of a whim. I didn’t know anything about the mechanics of blogging, and in fact, I don’t think I even read any kind of blog on a regular basis. I can only imagine that it ‘seemed a good idea at the time’. I was doing a bit of writing for the college brochure (just a paragraph a term) and perhaps thought it might be fun to see if I had anything to say on more a regular basis.
(Well—that’s the party line. In all honesty I was probably bored rigid and looking for a new ‘project’. I think I probably fully expected that I would give it a go for a couple of months and then it would all fizzle out, like so many other of my pet projects—’Cure for an obsession: get another one’—Mason Cooley . . . )
Anyhoooo—imagine my surprise then when last week I realised that I have actually been posting my scribbles and sketches for over two years now! Two years! That seems incredible to me and I was immediately prompted to ask myself a couple of questions. One: what did I do with my ‘spare’ time before I started blogging? . . . and Two: what on earth did I find to write about during those last two years?
I have no idea what the answer is to question number one (slept more, probably) but the answer to question number two seems to be anything and everything . . . and (often) nothing of consequence at all. Taking some time to go back and re-read some of my much earlier posts has been a weird experience. Some of it I remember writing and some of it not at all. Some of the writing seems quite readable (trying to look at it objectively) but at other times I wonder what on earth I was thinking. Very strange.
I have never considered myself a natural writer and I have never found writing easy (you know those people that say ‘the writing just flows out of me . . .’? Well, bully for them. Personally, I just want to poke their eyes out with a sharp stick) but I do think I assumed it would get easier the more I wrote. It seems like I was kidding myself for, in fact, I found almost the exact opposite to be the case. I am not even sure whether this is a good thing or a bad. Is the writing getting more difficult because I am trying harder—or am I just running out of things to blather about?
So, here’s the thing. Here’s what I have been asking myself. Should I continue? Should I continue to write my weekly missives or have I run my course? Seriously. I’m asking. I don’t think I am ready to stop writing entirely (although there are certainly days . . . ) but then perhaps I have already passed my ‘use-by-date’ and you lovely people who regularly drop in to catch up with me are just all too polite to tell me.
I have been going back and forth about it in my mind for a couple of months now and I have decided I need to clear my head. I am therefore going to give myself a couple of weeks off. I mean really ‘off’. The college closes next week and I will be away from the office for three whole weeks!!! During that time I have determined I am going to do as little as humanely possible (perhaps I should say as little as ‘doggily’ possible. My girls have it down to a very fine art and I am going to observe them closely . . . ) and that includes taking some time off from writing this blog too. (Was that a collective sigh of relief I just heard?)
So dear readers, I am going to now take this opportunity to thank you all for following me thus far and for your much valued friendship and support. I’ve learnt a lot, I’ve made some fabulous new friends and I’ve even reconnected with some very old friends again too. It’s been great.
But for right now Winnie and I need to take a bit of a break from thinking so hard, so I want to wish you all a very happy and safe and carefree Christmas (eat, drink and be (really, really) merry!) and a fabulous start to the New Year and, with a bit of luck, a much clearer head (and I’m hoping a vastly renewed enthusiasm) I look forward to seeing you all again in early 2018 . . .