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‘If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.’ Doug Larson.

Stories from my Sketchbook  . . . 

Every day, sometimes twice a day, for the last 12 years or so I have walked past the dock where the Canopus resides.   Two or three days a week the Canopus takes people out ‘deep sea fishing’ and you can set your clock by her.  At 6.30am on the dot on the days she is chartered I can hear her distinctive rumbling engine (from my house several blocks away) heading down the river towards the sea—and at 12.00 noon I can hear her again, making her way home.

I have never been out on her myself (not being a fisherperson’ at all), but my girls get very excited when we go past as the passengers are starting to boardlots of new people to wag tails at, get pats from, and plenty of bags and fishy gear to check out.

On a couple of occasions I have had to rescue one of them from some jolly wag who thinks they would make good ‘bait’ for their trip (rude!) but, being good natured, we assume they mean it all in good fun. . .

Canopus‘.  North Haven.

canopus

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘I wanted to be a veterinarian until I saw a video of a vet performing surgery on a dog. Then I decided I wanted to be a pianist.’ Amy Lee.

badbackThis week at morning tea at the college we had a lively discussion about medical diagnosis, alternative treatments and the importance of getting a second opinion.  I can’t quite remember how the conversation started (somebody’s bad back I think) but at one point it was suggested that perhaps that person might be best to get a second opinion from our local vet, as whatever their doctor was doing for them definitely wasn’t working.  We all laughed of course, but I am not sure that the suggestion was entirely silly  . . .

sick catI have a huge amount of respect for vets.  As you might imagine, having had many dogs and cats over the years I have spent a lot of time at my local vet surgery.  I’ve been very lucky.  For the most part our visits have been for the ‘usual’ yearly checkups, injections, nail clippings and minor infections, and only once or twice for something more serious, but I have always been amazed at the depth and breadth of knowledge that a vet has to have.  Not only does the vet have to be a general practitioner (and very probably also their own radiologist, surgeon, cardiologist, ophthalmologist, nutritionist, allergist, groomer, business manager, and legal expert) but he (or she) also has to be a general practitioner across multiple species.  (I guess a human doctor could say that too on occasion—but he’d have to be very careful who he said it to . . . )

And, unlike most human doctors, the vet has to be able to diagnose an animal who can’t, at least in words, give him any indication of what the problem is.  In addition, the vet’s patient may also (no matter however cheerful and docile at home) be just as likely to kick, bite, or scratch (or all of the above) the hand that is trying to help it—even when visiting for something very minor.

crazy dogA case in point.  My Maudie loves everybody and everything.  She is the happiest, lickiest, waggiest little dog I have ever owned—but it regularly takes three grown adults (and very stern words from her mum) to keep all 6 kilos of her under control when I take her in to get her nails clipped.  (I am sure our lovely vet Gavin and his team (CamVet) have seen it all before, and probably much worse, but I do find it very annoying.  Does it really have to be such a drama every single time??)

BloodhoundShakingOffWaterLeft_Med And it was because of these drama-queen antics that I had to take Maudie into the vet again this week.  She’d had an ear infection several months ago and although I’d had ear drops to administer (8 drops in each ear, twice a day, for 10 days—oh dear God) I was pretty sure I had ended up wearing more of those drops myself than ever went near her ears.

(I did take her back to Gavin at one point to tell him the issues I was having putting the drops in but she sat there like a lamb (smiling sweetly at me the whole time) and let Gavin put the drops in with no problem at all.  Gavin looked at me like I was the diva.  Sorry Gav, but you did.  The next morning when I tried to administer the drops again, the shrieking and thrashing reached epic proportions.  Maudie’s shrieking and thrashing—not mine—although . . . )  

Anyway, although she never complained out loud, over the last couple of weeks I had caught Maudie a number of times with her back foot gingerly probing her ear, so I was pretty sure the problem was still there.

sedatedSo it was back to Gavin to get those ears checked out.  Happily, this time Maudie did her little freak-out in front of witnesses (yay!—see it is her, not me—I felt thoroughly vindicated) and it was decided that as she was obviously not going to let me (or anyone else) anywhere near her ears ever again, the best course of action was to keep her in the surgery for a day to be sedated and have her ears thoroughly cleaned out and treated while she was out for the count.

That meant no breakfast that morning (wow—and that is a whole other story) and all the extra fun that goes with trying to get only one dog out of the house and into the car without becoming homicidal (dogicidal?) with the other two, or becoming totally deranged and incoherent myself in the process.  (Tricki Woo going ‘crackerdog‘ has nothing on my three girls.)  But we got there, of course, as we always do, and as crazy as she makes me sometimes, I fretted about her all day.  Not because she wasn’t in good hands, because she was—just because—well—you do . . .

Maudie

Maudie

When it came time to pick her up that afternoon I was told she had been ‘good as gold’ and had just ‘sat quietly smiling at everyone’ all day.  I was not overly surprised at that—my girls are all much braver in a ‘pack’ than they are as individuals and Maudie is a big smiler anyway—but I do also think it might have something to do with the sedative which was obviously still in her system.  After a brief but riotous reunion with her sisters, (and after she had finished her dinner, of course—no breakfast, remember?) she settled cozily into her favourite spot on the couch, still a little bleary-eyed and unfocussed, and happily hummed a little tune to herself until she finally fell into a deep, deep sleep.

It had been long, exhausting day for a little dog (and her mum).  I wonder if those sedatives are available on-line . . .

 
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Posted by on April 22, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘One of the worst mistakes you can make as a gardener is to think you’re in charge.’ Janet Gillespie.

Stories from my Sketchbook  . . . 

grim reaperThinking I was in charge of my own garden was a mistake I made very early on—but I was immediately (and thoroughly) put in my place when all the lovely new plants I planted died a horrible shrieking death almost as soon as I put them in the ground.  (Well, judging by their remains it surely looked like their death had been painful.)

proud plantI had done everything right.  I had checked whether they were the right sort of plant for the area, and whether for sun or shade.  I was planting them at the right time of year.  I watered them as I instructed.  To this day I have no idea what I did wrong.  I tried again. This time with different plants, in different aspects.  Same result.  Sigh.  (Weeds—now those I can grow—in abundance.)  It was mystifying—especially as I have always been able to grow really healthy indoor plants.  (These I have to watch like a hawk as they have become so prolific as to threaten to engulf the house.)

succulent1And then one day I discovered a group of plants which seemed almost unkillable (by me, or anything else).  Succulents.  Hairy, furry, smooth, bumpy, green, brown, yellow, multi-coloured succulents.  Fabulous.  And, over a period of time, and a little trial and error, my succulents and I have now come to a tentative alliance.

lookAs long as I don’t break the rulesit’s all good.  I plant them each in a lovely new pot, place them in out in the garden in cheerful little groups of like-minded friends—and promise to never, ever go near them or touch them again—and they thrive. Garden sorted.

So, as promised in my last post, I have decided to add here a quick drawing from my sketchbook of some of the succulents in my garden.  (And, just to be clear, the pots are actually standing on a garden of bark chips (not just a patch of concrete)—but I have no idea how to draw bark chips so I just pretended it wasn’t there.  I also ignored the rest of the garden—the back fence, the Hills Hoist, the three madcap dogs chasing each other in and around the pots—and anything else that was too hard.  I think that’s called ‘artistic licence’ . . . )

succulents

‘My rule of green thumb for mulch is to double my initial estimate of bags needed, and add three.
Then I’ll only be two bags short.’

Author Unknown

 
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Posted by on April 20, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘I’m a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Someday I’m going to be awesome.’ Anon.

29-1I have never considered myself to be a ‘perfectionist’.  At all.  Near enough was always good enough for me.  Or so I thought.

And I never really thought of myself as a ‘procrastinator’ either.  Sure I would put the occasional thing off until later—who doesn’t do that sometimes?  But not as a general rule.  Or so I thought.

But then last weekend I actually caught myself, on several occasions, deliberately putting off something I really wanted to do, by doing a whole host of other little jobs I didn’t want to do at all.  Weirdhuh?  I mean—who does that?   So I sat down and thought about it (like that wasn’t just another attempt to procrastinate even further) and could only come to the conclusion that I might be (shock horror)procrastinating perfectionist.

PerfectionismAccording to the dictionary, a perfectionist is ‘a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection‘.   Pffft.  Now that really doesn’t sound anything like me at all.  In fact, I would go as far to say that I am much more inclined to do things a little bit half-arsed than I am to be overly anal.  (Anyone who saw my lawn after I had finished mowing it would have to agree.  As long as it is ‘tidy’ I see no reason whatsoever to go around every single edge and border or pick up every errant leaf that has blown on to it.  Likewise with the housework.  I like to keep my house clean and tidy but with three dogs underfoot my home is never going to be pristine. As long as there aren’t tumbleweeds of dog hair floating down the hallways I can handle it.)

dinosaursThe same dictionary also states that a procrastinator ‘is a person who delays or puts things off—like work, chores, or other actions—that should be done in a timely manner.’  Well—okay—guilty—sometimes.  But it is not usually very long before I suck it up and get on with what needs to be done.  I prefer to get onerous chores done and dusted and out of the way.

And that’s when the penny dropped‘onerous chores’.  I have no issue with onerous chores (other than them being onerous, of course) because they don’t matter much to me.  Half-arsed is good enough.  The ‘perfectionist procrastinator’ in me only seems to kick in when something does matter to me.

So what brought on all this self-reflection?  What was I really wanting to do but avoiding with all my might? Sketching.  (I know, I know.  What’s the big deal right?  Sigh.)

Those of you who have read my earlier posts you will know that I have recently started drawing and sketching again. (Note the ‘again’ there.  Methinks I have had these issues before.)   But, truth be told, I have talked about sketching more than I have actually sketched.  Oh, I’ve done some.  I have.  But not nearly as much as I wanted to—or said I wanted to.  I enrolled in two online sketching courses and thoroughly enjoyed them.  I even participated in the on-line forums and uploaded some of my homework drawings, and got really nice feedback from the other students and from the tutors.  But I am still not sketching every day.  Sometimes I am not even sketching once a week.  And, the thing is—I really like sketching.

no inkSo what’s the problem?  Why am I still so anxious about getting the sketchbook out and putting pen to paper?  It seems pretty obvious doesn’t it?  And I’ve probably known the answer the whole time—I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.  I’m just afraid.  Afraid my sketches will be crap.  Afraid I’ll spoil my nice new pristine sketchbook.  And I don’t want my sketches to be crap.  And I definitely don’t want to spoil my nice new sketchbook.  So I look for reasons to not start at all.

happier dog(Dogs don’t have these issues, you know. Dogs don’t not dig a hole for fear it is not going to be the right shape or angle.  They don’t not play with that new toy in case they get teeth marks in it.  Although, on the procrastination side, I could name at least two little dogs who have gone to great lengths to delay going outside to use the bathroom because it was raining . . .  HA—see what I did there—classic diversionary statement.  It would be so easy to just veer off and talk about dogs now . . . )

So what am I going to do about this ‘first world’ problem of mine?

drama queenWell the first thing I am going to do is acknowledge that if this is really the only issue I have in life to be fretting over at the moment, I should be roundly ashamed of myself (and in truth, I am somewhat mortified to even acknowledge it out loud.)  Then I am going to go back over all my notes from my art classes and re-read the advice given on this very subject by nearly every one of the teachers (which I blithely skipped over because it ‘didn’t really apply to me’.)  And, finally, I am going to try really hard to just ‘get over myself’ and stop being such a drama queen about the whole thing.

feeling pressureSo, although I have already talked myself out of this twice already, and can already feel my resolve wavering again, I have decided to give myself a real push out of my comfort zone and have set myself a task of uploading a sketch to this blog once a week—just to see if I can do it.  (And let me say that at this stage I have NO idea what kind of sketch you might get—but if one day a quick scribble of a balled up piece of paper appears on this blog, you may at least have some idea of the sort of week I’ve had . . . )

I am going to have to push to ‘Publish’ button real quick now, before I change my mind again.  See you in a couple of days . . .


P.S.   Out of curiosity I took The Perfectionism Test and am pleased (I think) to let you know that I ‘possess a healthy level of perfectionism’.  (Mmmmm.  I wonder if the author of this test was the same person who wrote the ‘Personality Test’ in one of my earlier posts?)

 
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Posted by on April 15, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘Every dog should have a boy.’ Mr Peabody.

boy runningWe  had a little visitor to our house last weekend (and no, unlike most of our visitors, he did not have four legs.  This little man had only two legs—although he often moved fast enough to make you believe he might have had four).  His name is Ryan.

Ryan’s nanna, Pam, is good friend of mine and her daughter Emily and grandson Ryan were in town visiting for the Easter week, so we had some fun ‘catching up’.  I was struck at how much Ryan had changed since I last saw him.  He is looking more like a proper ‘little boy’ to me now—although at 2-and-a-half years I imagine he is technically a ‘toddler’?? (Not having had children of my own, I am happy to stand corrected.)

pets welcome(For those of you who don’t know me, I thought I would just point out that not having children was a deliberate choice for me, and one I have never regretted.  I don’t want to offend anyone but, as a general rule (and with notable exceptions of course) I just really prefer dogs to children.  A copy of the ‘Pets Welcome . . .  ‘ sign, left, really is on my front door.)

Anyway, during the week of the visit we were all chatting and decided it might be fun if Pam, Em and Ryan all came over to my house so that Ryan could meet ‘my girls’.  Pam is a regular visitor but Em hadn’t been over in a long while, and Ryan never. I was curious to see how my girls would react.

As you might already have guessed, my girls are not used to children.  We see them when we are out and about on our walks of course, and because the girls are all so small and cute, children often come running up to us to ‘see the puppies’. dog paws on headThe sudden onslaught of a group of children (i.e. more than one child at a time) will often send them into ‘silly as a box of frogs’ mode and scatter them in all directions, but they will, on occasion (and if I hold on to their collars and cajole them a bit) deign to be patted . . . if the children aren’t too big or too loud . . . or on bikes . . . or scooters . . . or skateboards . . . or carrying fishing rods . . . or wearing red . . .

But even though they are often jumpy and nervous around children, I have never worried that they might bite a child.  Experience has shown me that when they get scared Maude will stand her ground bravely (directly behind me) and bark like a maniac, Mabel will try desperately to climb up my leg until she is picked up, and Molly will turn tail and run for her life.  Biting (happily) does not seem to be in their repertoire.

nobarkAnd, true to form, when Ryan appeared in their living room, Mabel begged to be picked up, Maude set off a volley of barks worthy of a dog three times her size (all the time making sure that either I or the coffee table was between her and the small scary person) . . . and Molly ran and hid under the sofa (and also barked, just in case Maudie wasn’t getting the point across).

They needn’t have worried.  As it turned out Ryan was much more interested in the house itself than he was in them, at least to start with (perhaps they have a budding designer or architect on their hands?)  While we adults chatted (and attempted to calm the dogs down) Ryan took himself off on a little inspection tour of the house and garden, pottering in and out of the rooms and making mental notes, with Maudie shadowing him (from a safe distance) the whole time.

Ryan's Notes

Ryan’s Notes

Having completed his visual inspection he then set about ‘collecting’ items from around the house—a couple of pens, a notebook, my glassesand disappeared down the hallway happily humming to himself.   We laughed, wondering was was going on in his head, until his mum got a little nervous when it all went very quiet (even I know that can be a bad sign) and went in search of him.  We found him sitting quietly on the couch in my office, still humming to himself, wearing my glasses and writing in my ‘blog’ book.  (I had a look in that book later.  He has made copious notes but I am not quite sure yet if they are notes on the state of repair of my house and garden, or new ideas for my blog.  When I decode them I will let you know.)

So, although I am not sure my girls will agree with Mr. Peabody’s statement just yet—the visit turned out to be a great success.  And I could tell that my girls, albeit reluctantly at first, were actually starting to enjoy themselves.  When Ryan had finished compiling his notes he came back out in the living room and started to interact with the dogs.  Very funnyand very loud.  My girls don’t seem to be able to ‘play’ quietly. Maudie even managed to learn to bark with her ball still in her mouth. Quite a feat I thought.

apology(And here is a good spot to put in an apology to Scott, Ryan’s dad, who rang his wife hoping to get a lovely ‘facetime’ chat with his family while he was away on his trip overseas, only to be met by a scene of absolute bedlam with Ryan running, dog’s barking, spray-bottle squirting (and that’s a whole other story) and no chance of making himself heard above the din at all. Sorry Scottie.)

snoopy kissAs the visit wound down, and in calmer moments, Ryan did manage to get sloppy kisses from both Mabel and Maude (in his eye and up his nose) which he seemed quite happy about.  Molly got pats from her favourite Auntie Pammy and I myself got to have several long chatty conversations with Ryan which I enjoyed very much. 

(Thankfully Ryan’s mum and nanna were on hand to help with the trickier translations.  I am fluent in several dialects of ‘dog’, and have a smattering of ‘cat’—but ‘toddlerspeak’—not so much.  If I were more fluent I would have asked him the next day why all my drink coasters (which I hadn’t even realised were missing) were later found arranged in a very intricate pattern around the bathroom floor. Perhaps there is something about that in his notes . . . . )

snoreAnyway, I am not sure how Ryan slept that night but the afternoon’s excitement was all too much for the girls.   The three of them were fast asleep and snoring almost before Ryan was even packed up in the car and out of the driveway.  And, as lovely as the afternoon was, I know exactly how they felt . . . .


P.S.  Sad news yesterday that Ryan’s great-grandfather, Bobby, passed away this week, aged 85.
I met Bobby several times over the years and he was a lovely, sweet and gentle man and will be missed by all his family and friends.
RIP GGPa.

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.’ Arthur C. Clarke.

horoscopeI have just had a birthday so, in a quiet moment, I thought I’d sit down and read my ‘birthday stars’ and see what I can expect to happen in my life for the next 12 months.  Oh well, okay—you got me—I actually read every different version of my yearly horoscope I could lay my hands on, trying to find the one I liked best.  And then I read everybody else’s horoscopes for 2016 too—because I wanted to see who was going to have a better day/week/month/year than I was.  (Don’t give me that look.  I know you do that too.)  

And . . . surprise, surprise . . . from the ‘overviews’ it looks like I am in for an all-around-great-year—as is pretty much everyone else on the planet, Aries or otherwise . . .

aries1In a nutshell, it seems that I (and therefore presumably everyone else born under the sign of the Ram) can expect the rest of 2016 to be steady, chaotic, challenging, positive, volatile, passionate and erratic.  Phew.  I’m exhausted already.  So, a bit of everything then, but not really anything there to get too upset about.  But, thinking back—I don’t recall ever reading a birthday horoscope that told me that I really ought to brace myself as I was in for a really, really, crappy year . . .

Even if I did receive such a dastardly ‘horrorscope’, would that stop me from continuing to read future forecasts, I wonder?  Probably not.  I’d just do what I did this morning—keep looking for another one that told me all the good things I wanted to hear and ‘believe’ that one instead.  So sue me.

I enjoy reading horoscopes—there—I said it.  I read them all the time.  I even like to read the ones in the tatty three-year-old copies of mags in the doctor’s office or hairdresser’s salon and wonder whether the advice given actually lined up with what was going on in my life at that time.  (As if I would actually remember.  I have trouble remembering what happened last week, let alone three years ago).  It doesn’t really matter.  Two minutes after reading, be it old or current, I have usually decided it was all either ‘too good to be true’ and therefore never going to happen, or ‘so not how I wanted this week to go’ that I have blithely dismissed it all as a load of old rubbish and moved on to other things . . .

manreading(And just while I think of it—do they have astrology pages in men’s magazines?  (Seriously—I’m asking.)  Do Golf Digest or Muscle Car or Fish Life have a full page in every issue devoted to resident astrologers doling out advice to their (mostly) male readers on how they can expect the coming week to affect their personal relationships, career or financial status?  Or do the men who desperately want to know these things have to resort to sneaking a look at their wives/daughters/sisters Woman’s Weekly or New Idea (or one of the kazillion other women’s magazines) on offer?)

So why, in spite of my obvious scepticism, am I (and millions of others) driven to read our horoscopes on such a regular basis?  I guess one reason is that the majority of the ‘predictions’ given out are positive (at least in the women’s magazines)—and in newspapers and other publications full of doom and gloom at the moment, that makes a welcome change.  We like to think that things are ‘looking up’, and it’s nice to have someone else tell you that you are going to get a (possible) promotion at work, or (maybe) receive a financial windfall, or (in all likelihood) meet the love of your life (providing you are paying close attention to all the opportunities out there of course). The fact that these prophecies are so generic that they could apply to anyone, on any given day, at any given time, has very little to do with it.

pt_barnum_picApparently this temptation to read personal meaning into a general description is a recognised ‘thing’. (But you knew it would be, didn’t you? You’ve read enough of my scribblings by now to know there was going to be a ‘thing’.)  This particular ‘thing’ is referred to (by those in the know) as either the Forer Effect or more commonly (cue the circus music) the ‘Barnum Effect’ (after American showman PT Barnum’s famous line, ‘We’ve got something for everyone’).  We are all surprisingly willing, according to psychologist Bertram Forer, to attribute even the vaguest and most generic personality descriptions to ourselves.

predictionIn 1948, Forer gave each of his students a personality test, telling them they were receiving a unique outline of their character and asking them to rate its accuracy.  In fact, the outline each student received was identical, but each person rated it as an excellent description of themselves. This experiment has been repeated hundreds of times over the ensuing years, always with similar results, and this ‘wishful thinking’ human trait is what horoscope writers (and psychics, mediums, fortune tellers, mind readers, and the like) still rely on to this day.

So, if that has made you at all curious, why not have a go and take the personality test in the link above (go on, do it—just for a lark).  I did, and I have to say that the results did sound awfully familiar . . .

But will finding out how gullible and easily duped people apparently are stop me from reading any future horoscopes?  Not at all.  In fact—after that little exercise I might even contemplate starting to write my own!  Although then again, as fanciful as I can be at times, I don’t think even I could have come up with today’s offering—so I’m going to sign off now because I am expecting ‘Some beautiful dreams or visions, perhaps involving angels, spirit guides, or other such beings . . .‘ and, as you can imagine, I’m really anxious not to miss them . . .

Oh yes.  One last thing, and a timely reminder . . .

‘The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.’  
Mark Twain.

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.’ Fran Lebowitz.

bunny&crrot (2)I wholeheartedly agree with that statement (although don’t spread that around. I am still on my new ‘exercise and lifestyle’ program and whole, unadulterated ‘real food only’ is the mantra of the moment.  So—sssshhhhh).  I do actually like carrots as a whole thoughas long as they spiced, candied, glazed, roasted or caramelized—preferably with a full roast dinner to back them up.  If I have to eat raw carrots they need to be slathered in some yummy kind of dip, otherwise it’s like chewing on a grainy piece of stick—definitely best left for the bunnies.

(I wonder do rabbits actually like carrots?  Or do they just eat them because we think they should and so that’s what we feed them?   And does the Easter Bunny himself eat carrots do you think?  Or does he have some other special kind of diet?  Although he is a rabbit, he is also a rabbit who poops chocolate eggs. Which kind of suggests that his main diet is something other than orange and green and leafy . . .)

But I digress (and this early on in the piece that is not a good sign.  This could go anywhere . . . or nowhere . . . )

easter bunnyWhat I was going to start with was—I am not a religious person (the carrot thing was a bit random, I admit) so I don’t really pay much attention to the religious ramifications of the Easter holiday.  For me Easter means two extra days off work, hot cross buns on Friday and chocolate Easter eggs (and bunnies, bilbies or anything else chocolate) on Sunday (oh well okay—not only on Sunday . . . )  But I do realise that Easter, for millions of the more devout among us, is, and always will be, indelibly connected to the Passover and the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  And that’s all good.  I get that.

But you know—and I never really thought much about it until this week—when did the bunny who poops chocolate eggs come in to the story?  I don’t remember reading anything about the Easter Bunny in Sunday School.  (I know what you’re thinking—it must have been a slow week in Sally’s head—but hey—I can’t always control the random thoughts and questions that pop into my head, okay?)

Anyway, I looked it up.  (Pay attention now, this may one day be really important.)   It appears that the Easter Bunny has absolutely nothing at all to do with the Bible (shock, horror) but began with the pagan goddess of Spring, ‘Oestre‘.  A festival called Eastre was held during the spring equinox by the Saxons in Northern Europe to honour her.  Oestre’s earthly symbol was the rabbit (and there’s your bunny connection) which was also known as a symbol of fertility (No?  Really? . . . )  

animated-picture-bunny-hopping-easter-eggs-basketThe first Easter Bunny legend was documented in the 1500s, and around 1680, the first story about a rabbit laying eggs and hiding them in a garden was published. The legend of the Easter Bunny bringing eggs appears to have made its way to the United States by early German immigrants around the 1700s.  The tradition of making nests for the rabbit to lay its eggs in soon followed and eventually, these nests became decorated baskets filled with colorful eggs, sweet treats and other small gifts.

So there you go.  The Legend of the Easter Bunny in 2 short paragraphs.

easterbuttObviously somewhere along the way someone had a merchandising epiphany and Easter eggs and other Easter paraphernalia now usually start appearing in the shops the day after Christmas and can still be found on the shelves the week before they bring the tinsel out for the following Christmas.  (And that is not a complaint, by the way.  I would be quite happy if Easter chocolate never came off the supermarket shelves.)

But I don’t want to keep you away from your Easter treats so I am going to sign off now and  wish you all, devout and pagan alike, a very happy Easter.

EASTER CHOCOLATE TIPS:
easterbulldog
If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
Eat an Easter egg before each meal.  It’ll take the edge off your appetite.  That way you’ll eat less.
If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.  Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Chocolate has many preservatives.  Preservatives make you look younger.

and, finally, remember
There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE.
(Linda Grayson)

easter-cookie_m

P.S.  On a more serious note—someone from Belgium regularly drops in to read my blog and although I do not know who you are I just wanted to say that we here in Australia have all seen the horrific scenes of what has been happening in Brussels over the last few days.  I just want to let you know that I, and many other people around the world are thinking of you all, and sending all good thoughts and prayers your way.  Be safe.
Perhaps the poor ‘dumb’ animals in this video link could teach us all a thing or two about living together in harmony.
 ‘We’re all in this together’
Sally, Mabel, Maude and Molly.

 
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Posted by on March 25, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.’ Dave Barry.

Molly - Day 1

Molly – Day 1

When she first came to live with us Molly weighed 3.2 kilos (7lbs).  She was 5 years old, teeny-tiny, a little bit scruffy, and had ears like Gizmo the Gremlin.

Molly came to us with ‘issues’.  She was terrified of everything and everyone, prone to disappearing for hours on end (to eventually be found hiding buried underneath the sofa cushions or in a little nest she had made for herself under a bush out by the back gate) and would go into an almost coma-like state if you picked her up and gave her a hug.  She had no understanding of ‘play’ and would run and hide if you tried to get her to join in any kind of game.

Four years along and many of Molly’s little idiosyncrasies, although still there, have become somewhat tempered. When I come home she will come running for her own ‘Mum’s back’ cuddle and even push the others aside to make sure she doesn’t miss out.  She will let other people pet her (providing I am close at hand).  scareddog1Although she has still never made any attempt to join in, she will no longer run away in terror when Mabel and Maude grab an arm or a leg each of their favourite teddy and drag each other, growling and snarling, round and round the house. (She did once, in a mad moment, make a grab at one of the many doggie toys littering the house, but it squeaked at her and sent her into hiding for the rest of that day.  She has doggedly (see what I did there?) ignored any possible toy-trauma ever since.)

But there is still ‘the food thing’.

Molly has no ‘off’ switch when it comes to food.  She just does not believe in leaving food on her plate.  Or any one else’s plate.  Or anywhere in the house.  Ever.  Once she starts eating there is just no stopping her.

I remember the first time I gave Molly her dinner in her own little bowl.  She sat.  And she looked at it. Then she looked at me.  “Go on,” I said, “eat your dinner.”  She looked back at the bowl.  She looked at Mabel and Maude happily eating out of their own bowls.  And looked at her bowl again.  And looked at me.  I moved the bowl toward her.  She backed away.  I backed away.  And she sat and looked again.  I picked some food out of the bowl and tossed it to her.  She gobbled it down.  I moved the bowl towards her. She backed off.  Okay.  So, this was obviously going to be a thing.  Sigh.

dogbowldiveIt was a very frustrating process to get her fed that first evening (compounded by the fact that Mabel and Maude had now finished their meals and desperately wanted to join in the new  ‘game’.  Not helpful, girls, really not helpful).  Long (long) story short but after a few weeks and any number of false starts, Molly did eventually get the hang of eating out of her own bowl.  More than got the hang of it.  ‘Eating’ is possibly not the right word.  ‘Inhaling’ might be closer to the mark.  Food has become her passion.

I have been thinking about why Molly’s relentless appetite bothers me so much.  Now that I know about it, it really isn’t that big a deal.  For her health I don’t want her to get too heavy (and she is already starting to resemble a tiny sumo wrestler) so, without depriving her at all, I monitor how much food she eats and watch that she doesn’t eat all of Mabel’s leftovers as well her own meals. (Mabel is much more delicate in her eating habits.)  I watch her like a hawk when we are out walking.  treasure mapIf there are any kind of remains left under a picnic table three miles away, in the opposite direction, Molly will find them—and have eaten them all before I have even noticed she is missing.  (I also now know where she keeps her ’emergency stash’ (bits of doggie biscuits and chew sticks stolen from the other girls when their backs were turned)—which I assume she keeps just in case we all get hit by an earth-destroying meteor before dinner.)

Perhaps it bothers me because I too have had my own issues with food.  I like food (I really do) but I can honestly no longer remember a time when I wasn’t ‘watching what I eat’.  I have been heavier than I ‘should be’ (don’t even get me started on the ‘shoulds’) for most of my adult life, and have been reminded of it on many an occasion.  When I was younger such mean remarks would usually send me directly back to the refrigerator—both to console myself and to prove to others that I really didn’t care what they thought.  But, of course, I did.

Over the years I have, like Molly, managed to modify a lot of my less-than-helpful behaviours and responses, but I was reminded quite forcefully last week that just when you think you have a handle on something, that is usually the time it will come back and bite you in the bum.

Last week I decided it was time to get my health and fitness back on track, as I had slacked off a bit over the last year or so.  I just don’t have the motivation to do these things by myself any more so I signed on to a three month fitness and diet (ooops, sorry, ‘healthy eating’) on-line plan.  So far so good.

fitnessdogI got my exercise gear together, cleared the kitchen of all distractions (bye bye chocolate—at least until next week when the Easter bunny comes) and was raring to go.  And then, almost as if a switch was flipped, I started to think about pizza.  I love pizza.  Just love it.  It’s right up there as one of my favourite foods. But you know I couldn’t tell you the last time I ate one, or even thought about eating one.  Not for a long time.  Out of sight, out of mind.  But, swear to God, almost the moment I signed on for a new fitness and healthy eating plan—BOOM—all I could think about was eating pizza.  Aaaarrrrrghhhhh!

Molly - today

Molly – today

However, this time, instead of berating myself mercilessly for my failings, I have decided to give myself a break and not fret too much about my ‘pizza brain’.  I am sure, given time (and a couple of laps around the park) the yen for a Super Supreme (extra cheese) will fade.  I am also going to ease up on Molly a bit (and by ‘ease up’, I don’t mean feed her more, but I’ll try to stop my continual exasperated, “Stop Eating Mol. You’ll explode!”  commentary).   We girls should stick together.

And who knows, Molly might well have the right idea.  If finishing what you start is truly the road to inner peace, my Molly must be a  Zen Master . . . .

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.’ Bill Hicks.

watching tvWhen I get back in from my early morning walk and after I have fed the girls (because nothing else will ever get done until the girls are fed) I like to watch the American ‘CBS This Morning‘ show and eat my breakfast with Charlie and Gayle and Norah.  Very un-Australian, you might say, watching an American morning show, but there you go.  I like it.  And the last couple of months’ viewing has been especially . . . I can’t really think of one word to adequately describe it . . .

We all know (even those among us pretending not to know) that the Americans are at the moment knee deep in the throes of choosing candidates for their next Presidential election.

american flagRightly or wrongly, I have very little interest in politics. It doesn’t matter whether the politicians are Australian, British, American or any other flavour—personally, I just can’t shake the feeling when I listen to any of them that (to paraphrase Meghan Trainor) ‘if their lips are moving they must be lying’ . . . but in spite of that, I do have to say that watching the antics of the American candidates (both Republican and Democratic) has, so far, been pretty entertaining (and occasionally horrifying) and, as I have the feeling that they are still just getting warmed up, it will probably be worth watching for a little while yet.

(Australian politics pales by comparison . . . and, having had 5 Prime Ministers in 5 years, that’s saying something).

juggleI am not going to pretend I know anything about the inner workings of the American political system (although, huge fan of The West Wing), and a lot of the rhetoric and jargon goes straight over my head, but for an outsider looking in, and for pure entertainment value, it’s hard to beat.  It’s like watching a great big nation-wide game show or talent quest, with lots of flashing lights, and flag waving and over-the-top contestants.  Everyone is jockeying for the top spot on the leader-board and determined to win the Grand Prize (and bad luck to anyone who gets trampled on in the process).

Watching some of the campaign debates and commentaries has made me laugh.  A lot.  And that kind of bothers me, because, wellI am pretty sure I am laughing for all the wrong reasons.  (Shouldn’t choosing the next ‘leader of the free world’ be a slightly more serious business?)  Now I like a giggle as much as the next person, but laughing-with and laughing-at are two very different things.

alice

When I was a teenager (this may read like a random digression but I will get back on point, I promise) I remember leaving school one day with a friend and cutting along a small laneway we used as a shortcut to the main road where we caught our bus home.  We were ambling along, chatting quite happily, when, without warning, the ground suddenly gave way beneath me, and I disappeared up to my shoulders into a concrete ‘pit’.  A group of boys had removed the pit’s metal cover, replaced it with a lightweight cardboard sheet, camouflaged the whole thing with dirt and sand, and then lay in wait for an unwary victim.  Cue me.

Of course, as soon as I fell, the sneaky saboteurs reappeared, all laughing hysterically (including my friend I might add) and patting themselves on the back for a successful prank.  (Go on—I bet you laughed too.)  I took all the skin off one leg, tore my sweater, wrenched a knee (which has never been the same since) and cracked my head hard on the concrete (which, it could be argued, explains a lot . . . )

I went home embarrassed and humiliated and sorry for myself, expecting my parents to be as outraged as I was, only to find them both struggling to keep their faces straight while I told them my tale of woe.  My father had to actually leave the room to collect himself.  To be honest, I should have expected it. buster-chaplin-fight-damian-blakeDad loved slapstick.  I have very fond memories of sitting with him at the weekends, watching Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Keystone Kops, Laurel and Hardy or Abbot and Costello.  He adored them all. and would watch them every chance he got.  Dad was a gentle soul and I never saw him raise a hand to anyone, but watching the Three Stooges and Moe’s vicious physical attacks on Larry and Curly, or one of them being repeatedly smacked in the back of the head with a plank of wood, would leave him almost incapacitated, with tears of laughter streaming down his face.

In the end (and after much prompting) I did see the funny side of my own experience but you would think that because of it I may have become a tad more compassionate towards others and perhaps even immune to that sudden, explosive bubble of mirth that bursts forth unexpectedly when somebody embarrasses or humiliates themselves right in front of me.  dog laughing1Apparently notas demonstrated by some of my inappropriate guffaws while watching the campaign debates.  There is obviously more of my father in me than I realised . . .

There are months and months of campaigning left to go before the final candidates are chosen and I will continue to watch their progress with interest.   Hopefully, common sense will prevail, the slapstick and silliness will give way to substance and the Americans will pick their top two, and eventually choose the right person for the Presidency.  For them and for the rest of the world.

head in viceBut, you know, until then, I am not above looking out for a bit more hair-pulling, and eye-poking, and the odd finger-up-the-nose.

And don’t you think it would be just a little bit funny to see a certain candidate’s head being screwed relentlessly into a vice?

Why soitenly‘  nyuk, nyuk, nyuk . . .

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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‘Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.’ Mark Twain.

auditor1We have had the auditors in at work this week.

If I don’t write another word, that should surely be enough to explain my choice of quote for this week . . . and also the tone of this post.  Perhaps you should all run away now. You’ve been given fair warning . . . )

Apart from the angst the word ‘audit’ can generate, this shouldn’t have been a drama.  This wasn’t our five-year ‘two-of-us-are-going-to-come-and-take-over-your-office-for-three-days-and-if-we-find-one-thing-wrong-we’re-going-to-shut-you-down’ kind of audit.  This was supposed to be a mini three-hour ‘we-gave-you-some-funding-to-run-this-particular-course-and-we’re-just-going-to-check-whether-you-did-it-right’ audit.

pile_of_paperWe honestly weren’t worried.  The course that was being audited had run at the beginning on 2015 so I could lay my hands on the paperwork without having to search through tons of box-files.  A quick check revealed that everything seemed to be in order.  There were enrolment forms and IDs, and receipts, and eligibility documents, and trainer notes, and copies of student coursework and workplacement evidence, and signed record sheets and copies of Certificates issued.  It had been a successful course and everyone on the course had gone on to get jobs in the industry (which, by the way, was the purpose of the original funding). We were certain we were compliant.

(I have never been a fan of the word ‘compliance’.  Dictionary.com defines the word as: ‘the act of conforming, acquiescing, or yielding; a tendency to yield readily to others, especially in a weak and subservient way; conformity, accordance in compliance with orders; cooperation or obedience’.  Enough said really.)

The two auditors turned up, we exchanged pleasantries, handed over the files, and they then sequestered themselves away in a little office and shut the door.  Why does a closed door always seem so ominous in these instances?

exploding headFive hours later my head had swelled to twice it’s usual size, my eyes had glazed over and my intellect had shrunk to the size of a pea.  It seemed as if every time we turned around one of them had reappeared out of their self-imposed seclusion asking, ‘Where is this document?’ (in the files I gave you), ‘Where is the evidence for this?’ (on the usb-stick attached to the files I gave you), ‘and what is this?’ (it looks like a piece of paper with writing on it . . . )  

I swear, after a while I became like Bart Simpson’s dog (Santa’s Little Helper).  I could see their mouths moving but all I could hear was ‘blah, blah, blah. . .’

Don’t misunderstand me.  There have to be rules.  I understand that.  The world runs on them.  We have to be accountable.  But . . . wow.

Anyway, I won’t bore you with all the details (I don’t have enough screen space anyway) and to cut a long (good lord, was it only 5 hours?) story short—

Joke: A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
“Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
“Marry an auditor,” suggested the doctor.
“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”

it appears that we did, indeed, have everything that was required, although ‘possibly not in the format we would have preferred it’.  I am still not entirely sure what was meant by that.  Does that mean there was too much?  or too little?   Please God, don’t let it mean they need more.  If we have to store any more paper we are going to have to buy a bigger building.  And if anyone out there feels the need to send me information on ‘going paperless’ —don’t.  Just.  Don’t.  Because I remember the promises  . . .

‘The Paperless Office is Coming’ (they said). There were Fanfares and Trumpets and Hallelujahs.  Not only was it possible (they said)—it was indeed, inevitable.  I was on board.  Just imagine—nice, clean desks, all bright and shiny and clear of files, folders, faxes and other extraneous paper.  No more rooms full of dusty filing cabinets and teetering towers of boxes containing every scrap of paper that ever passed through the office (“we’ll just keep a copy of that in case it comes back later to bite us in the bum …” )  Millions of trees saved from ink-soaked death . . .

bullshit

It sure isn’t happening in the education sector.  I seem to be constantly and irretrievably knee-deep in paper.  Now, after many years (centuries, it seems) of working in offices I am more than adept at shuffling, stacking and filing it but, damn—if the paperless office is never going to happen, can we at least have a ‘less-paper’ office?  Is that too much to ask?

Probably.  I’ll just go and check with the auditors . . .

toomuchwineAs you may have guessed, it’s been a long week.  I have already given the Manager fair warning that I will do everything I can to get the paperwork in order for our next big audit (which, horror-of-horrors, I think is due next year), but I fully intend to have retired (run screaming from the building) before then.

So, until the Lottery Gods smile upon me (because, realistically, that is the only way I am ever going to get to retire before I am 90) I guess I will continue to do what we all continue to do.  Keep a stiff upper lip . . . keep the nose to the grindstone . . . and continue to self-medicate with scads of chocolate and vats of red wine . . . .

T.G.I.F. people.   T.G.I.F.

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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