I’ve been thinking about umbrellas a lot this week. (Sad, but true.) That may have had something to do with the fact that we have been absolutely deluged with rain and, consequently, I seem to have spent most of this week being poked in the head, dripped on, tripping over or dodging bloody umbrellas. (If that is not the reason I have been thinking so much about umbrellas I obviously have entirely too much time on my hands . . . )
As you may have guessed, unlike James Joyce, I am not really a fan. For myself, I have always found umbrellas to be more trouble than they are worth. They never seem to go up (or down) exactly when you need them to, they turn themselves inside out at the slightest breath of wind, one of the spokes will inevitably pop out of its sheath thereby threatening to poke the eye out of any unwary passerby and—not least—the rain always seems to come in underneath them anyway and you still end up getting soaked.
That is not to say that I don’t own an umbrella, of course. In fact, I own several. There are two in my car, two more in the house (that I am sure about) and (I think) there is even another one hiding out in the laundry somewhere. But, the thing is, I don’t remember ever buying any of these umbrellas (or any umbrella, ever, for that matter) nor I can tell you the last time I ever actually used one of them. (How did five unwanted and unused umbrellas manage to survive my last major house cleanout? No idea.)
It not the umbrellas themselves that bother me so much. It’s that many umbrella-users don’t seem to take into account how their umbrella wielding behaviour impacts those around them. Surely there is some kind of polite umbrella-etiquette written somewhere that should be adhered to? Like, perhaps you should wait until you step outside before opening up your umbrella. (Apart from being just plain rude, has no-one ever told you that opening up an umbrella indoors brings bad luck?) Or that it might be nice to shake the rain off your soaking wet umbrella before coming into the coffee shop. And don’t get me even started on the matter of personal space . . .
Still, perhaps I am making too much of a fuss. Perhaps I have dodged my last delinquent umbrella—for this week at least. As I finish writing the rain clouds are starting to move away and the sun is trying to struggle through . . .
. . . which puts me in mind of another sort of umbrella that I really don’t mind so much. (In spite of my earlier words I am not a complete brolly-phobe.) I am, in fact, quite partial to a lovely big parasol, which moves about only just enough to keep the sun off me, thus enabling me to sit comfortably in the shade while sipping a suitably chilled beverage (which, if I am lucky, might even contain its own teeny, tiny, umbrella . . . )
Ahhh . . . roll on summer . . .
Sally says . . . eat, sleep, work, read, play, draw, bark . . . 
jcmwhe@gmail.com
July 2, 2017 at 4:27 am
You’re so interesting! I do not believe I’ve truly read a single thing like that before. So great to find another person with some genuine thoughts on this topic. Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is something that’s needed on the web, someone with a bit of originality!
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sallyinthehaven
July 3, 2017 at 7:22 am
Thank you so much. So pleased you’re enjoying it. 🙂
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Joneen
June 19, 2017 at 11:42 am
Saw a very different version of ‘Singing in the Rain’ on television – NT dancers with umbrellas. Hilarious! http://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/2016/01/06/djuki-mala-dancers-singing-rain
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sallyinthehaven
June 20, 2017 at 7:19 am
Wonder what Gene Kelly would have made of that! Did you check out their rendition of Zorba the Greek? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-MucVWo-Pw
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stevetalbot51
June 17, 2017 at 4:58 pm
Lucky you are a better blogger than weather forecaster Sal 🙂
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sallyinthehaven
June 18, 2017 at 8:52 am
I know – it rained again. 😦
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C. C. Cedras
June 16, 2017 at 10:31 pm
I’m with you on the more trouble than they’re worth angle. Unless it’s pouring down, I skip it.
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Jon
June 16, 2017 at 10:38 am
bring on the sunshine!
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Pam Talbot
June 16, 2017 at 10:34 am
My umbrella quandary is, what do you do with a soaking wet umbrella after you’ve got into your car???? You can’t put it in the boot – that would be silly cos then you’d get wet getting back in the car! So you haul it in through the slightly open door (getting wet), across the front seat to drip all over you & everywhere else & if it’s a big umbrella that’s a lot of drips!
PS Judy, are the “inside out” umbrellas as good as they’re advertised to be?
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Judy
June 16, 2017 at 9:39 am
We just bought two of those ‘opens inside out’ brollies off FB Sal….now they are a whole new story!! Great concept pity about the execution…🙃🤦♀️
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sallyinthehaven
June 16, 2017 at 10:47 am
Oh dear. Don’t suppose they will be asking your for your recommendation then?
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S. A. Young
June 16, 2017 at 8:38 am
Nothinhmg worse than having one’s umbrella turn inside out in the pouring rain. It starts to feel personal. 😋
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sallyinthehaven
June 16, 2017 at 10:46 am
Doesn’t it though! Is there such a thing as ‘umbrella rage’?
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